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Wednesday, December 7th, 2011
10:45 pm - A brief snaphot of my life at the moment...
So I'm sitting on the couch, surfin' the web on the laptop, not really paying attention to much. Husband Man comes up and asks me 'Hey, want some cheese?'

I'm down for some random snackage, so I say yes, still not truly paying attention.

All of a sudden, his two hands swoop down like out of nowhere...

...And I find myself, basically, wearing a cheese bra.

(Ah, love.)

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Monday, August 1st, 2011
12:57 pm - Oh, why not...
Found this randomly on the internets and thought I'd give it a whirl, see if it cements ol' Grindon more firmly in my mind for next November. Tag yourself if you want to join in on the random fun of figuring out character stuffs!

OC INTERVIEW/PROFILE QUESTIONAIRE

FULL NAME: Grindon Ram
MEANING: Is there a meaning? I'm not aware of one.
NICKNAME: None. At least, not yet.
ACTUAL AGE: Depends how you count it. Technically less than a year old, but looking around his late 40's or early 50's.
RESIDENCE: The author's mind, in the zone of White Space.
SPECIES: Human.
GENDER: Male.
SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Has never actually seen another human being, so the answer to this question is as yet unknown.
MARITAL STATUS: See above. Have to know the right sort of someone to marry them, you see.
KIDS: None. The lack of presence of a biologically compatible person around kind of assures this.
OCCUPATION: Does a roving wanderer count as an occupation?
RANDOM: Is getting better at dealing with sudden changes in reality.
APPEARANCE: Quietly stylish.
HAIR COLOR: A greying brown. Distinguished looking, not old.
HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: Shortish. Could probably pull off the messy spiked look, but after the egg incident prefers to keep his hair clean.
EYES COLOR: Pale blue.
HEIGHT: 6'5"
ABNORMALITIES (TAIL): None.
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: None thus far. His adventures have left him unscathed thus far.
SELF CARE: Well groomed, when he can. Life sometimes throws curveballs, and it's hard to shave while playing dodgeball.
FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: Serious with a humorous undertone.
SKIN COLOR: Lightly tanned. Out in the 'sun' enough for some colour, but not nearly enough to bring about the dreaded leather look.
BODY TYPE/BUILD: Tall and lightly built. No huge rippling muscles on this guy.
DEFAULT EXPRESSION: In his current environment? Bemused confusion.
PIERCINGS: None.
DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: Warm lower qualities, friendly.
WEAPON OF CHOICE: A towel. Or splinters. (There's not much choice around...)
PERSONALITY: Cautiously curious and friendly, but can sometimes blow something out of proportion and get annoyed/angry.
WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: A friendly greeting, followed by general queries to find out who and what you are.
AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER (AND THEY LIKE YOU): Many adventures will be shared together.
AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER (AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): A cold politeness front.
POSITIVE CHARACTERISTICS: Can deal with a surprising amount of crazy and still remain more or less sane.
NEGATIVE CHARACTERISTICS: Untrusting of certain offers, especially when preceded by a hazy or unclear offer.
FAVORITE COLOR: ANYTHING BUT WHITE.
FAVORITE ANIMAL: Somewhat partial to the octopus. When you spend some time as another form, it kind of sticks with you.
FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Has not encountered any yet. However, he has been known to make up songs on the fly.
FAVORITE ELEMENT: Surprise, when it's him that does the surprising.
FAVORITE FOOD: Chocolate cake, though the ethical ramifications of this still shake him sometimes.
HOBBIES: Finding adventure. Or is it that adventure finds him?
USUAL MOOD: It seems to be a cross between cheerful and confused.
DRINK/SMOKE/DRUG: Large amounts of caffeine and sugar have an, um, interesting effect. Yo ho ho.
SOFT SPOT/VULNERABILITY: Feels very protective of his friends, largely because they're very small.
OPINION ON SWEARING: He uses it sparingly, but would have no issues with someone else swearing up a blue streak.
MUSIC TYPE: Anything is a nice change from constant quiet.
COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: Gently warm... but hasn't experienced anything else.
SLEEPING PATTERN: Sleeps when tired. Days and nights don't exist.
CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: Tidy for the most part, but is more than willing to rationalize reasons for leaving messes around.
DESIRED PET: None. His friends are more than enough distraction.
HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: Adventuring, or arguing with the author.
BIGGEST SECRET: He still has no idea what happened in the pre-egg time.
WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: No question about it. He was briefly an octopus. (You never know what the side effects of painkillers might be)
FEARS: After all this time in that wide open space, probably a mild touch of claustrophobia.
DRUNK TYPE: Stupidly mischievous.
DONE ANYTHING TO GET IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW: No laws to get in trouble with, though arguing with one's creator isn't always the best move.
ROMANCE: Would probably enjoy like-minded company, but the concept of romance has yet to dawn upon him.
DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: Not too often. Like I said, no concept of the thing.
HOW DO THEY ACT: Hypothetically they would be clumsy-sweet, like bringing only a half box of chocolates because there were chocolates in the house and how could he resist the temptation but look, he managed to save half for you and it's the good half with the chocolate covered cherries and all!
GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS CLUMSY: Would try to be a gentleman, though things might not always work out the way he intended.
TRUE LOVE VS TESTING DIFFERENT PEOPLE: Holy snort you're human I must get to know you better in order to understand myself.
PROTECTIVE: He's protective of his friends, so logically a significant other would have that same protective stance.
GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: Slow, in order to process his confusion better.
WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: Presents? Buy? When? What for? How much? Hold on, he's gotta go get something to write with...
TYPE OF KISSER: I would suppose warm, but slightly stubble-scratchy.
DO THEY WANT KIDS: Heck no.
ARE THEY ROMANTIC: Clumsily so. Might not always get things right, as he doesn't really have a lot of knowledge to go on. Actually, at the beginning he might even resort to flipping a coin to figure out what to do.
HOW ARE THEY IN BED: Soft snoring, cover hog... that's what you mean, right?
TOYS: Wait, I guess that wasn't what you meant.
FETISHES: Certainly hasn't crossed his mind yet.
S+M: See above.
GET JEALOUS EASY: Does get jealous, but will try to calm himself down enough to rationally hear the other side of the story.
WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: Nope. He'll beat you at a card game, but that's about it.
MARRY FOR MONEY: Why would he need money? Ask for something, and likely it'll arrive (in a puff of sparkly coloured smoke).
FAVORITE POSITION: None as of yet.
OPINION ON SEX: Ok, first he's gotta discover another human being, then it has to be the one he likes, then we'll start thinking about considering to talk about copulation.

INTERVIEW

1. Hi! What's your name?
"I'm Grindon Ram. I think."

2. Your age?
"I'm not too sure of that myself, to be honest with you. Old enough to know better and crazy enough to do it anyway?"

3. Favorite color?
"Mmm, color. I miss color. Or at least I suppose I would if I could remember having color to miss before I got here in the egg. Really, anything is a nice change from this everpresent white. It's not that the white is hard on the eyes, because somehow it's not, but... change is good, you know? "

4. Fav food and drink?
*looks around quickly* "Don't tell Stevie I told you this, but... chocolate cake. "

5. Who's your crush?
"Crush? You mean, who could I theoretically step on? That would be Stevie. Or Smurf."

6. If you have a crush, did you kiss yet?
"Wait, what? That's just messed up! If I get my lips anywhere near Stevie, he'll think I'm trying to eat him, and the crazy cupcake will try to help things along... And I just don't wanna kiss Smurf. Ever kissed a zombie? I can't imagine it would be pleasant."

7. Your hobbies?
"Mostly I just wander around until something happens, unless my back is turned or my eyes are closed and something sneaks up and happens to me instead."

8. Who are your friends?
"Well, there's Stevie and Smurf for sure. I'm not entirely certain where I stand with Smrgl, though it seems to be on the positive side of things now." *shudders* "You don't want to see Angry Dragon Face, trust me."

9. Favorite weather?
"Any day where I'm not getting, say, a bucket of goo to the face is a good day."

10. Which season do you prefer?
"I can't tell the difference here. It's always the same. Kind of convenient, though."

11. Your biggest fears?
"Angry dragons. They're big, they're strong, 5 out of 6 ends are pointy, and the 6th is like a gigantic sentient rope whip. "

12. Is there anyone you don't like?
"Not so far. There have been misunderstandings, but everything turns out ok in the end."

13. Do you like cute things/persons?
"My first friend here was a cupcake with big blue eyes. Does that answer that question."

14. A compliment you get to hear often?
"Wow, you're tall."

15. Weirdest persons you've ever met?
"Everyone I meet is weird in some way. I really don't want to have to go through a weirdness contest to see who is champion weirdo. It might just be me, and that would really throw off my day, you know?"

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Thursday, March 31st, 2011
10:18 am - I dream of weird things.
So our tale starts in a hollowed-out tree, where our main character lives. I have no idea what his name might have been. His species is also something I can't quite recall. It was something along the lines of Oogle the Floogle from Finoogleland, if that helps any (and it probably won't).

Oogle (Yeah, we'll just call him that) is sort of short and spritely, long felted goofy pointed hat, turned-up elfy shoes, a tunic, with arms and legs that are a little longer than one would expect. His skin is browned by the sun, but otherwise humanoid.

Oogle is facing a crisis. Floogles, you see, stay in one general area for their whole lives, frequently casting an ancient magic spell to keep the world from falling apart, keep the seasons turning as they should, and other Typical Things Like That There. This spell is passed on from Floogle to Floogle by word of mouth only. The problem is that Oogle can't remember the last word in the spell. When he asks his neighbor Floogles, which are decreasing in number for reasons he (and we) can't figure out, they can't remember the last word either. Everyone's just been getting by with mumbling a few syllables at the end of the spell and hoping. He sends out letters to distant cousins, and he gets word back that they don't know either. Nobody in Finoogleland knows the last magic word.

This has been going on for quite a few years. Spring isn't as springy, summer is less warm, winter is more foreboding, flowers don't smell as nice, fruit has gone from awesome to meh (thus nobody throws fruit parties anymore, and that's just depressing to any Floogle) and there has been the occasional worrying rumble of a minor earthquake in the region (where there has been none previously).

Seeing What Has To Be Done, Oogle nervously packs a few things, and heads off down the road out of Finoogleland, to search for other, more distant, more wise Floogles who haven't been so careless. Everyone waves goodbye, thankful that they can continue to be Good Floogles and not do silly things like wander about the world. It's just Not Done.

At this point, Oogle starts singing a weird little tune to keep his spirits up while he walks...

...which turns out to be the alarm clock. Boo.

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Saturday, March 26th, 2011
1:00 pm - Least effective spam mail ever?
With a subject line of jogyo6, and email text consisting of just uyw, I think this is the most minimalistic spam I've ever gotten.

I am both amused and worried.

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Friday, December 31st, 2010
11:21 am - Things you don't expect to learn during dinner conversation...
I've learned a new way that German is confusing.

In English, sodomy is teh buttsex.

In German, 'Sodomie' is bestiality.

What a way to end the year.

(And yes, this knowledge did happen over the course of a family dinner conversation. I'm still not sure whether this is a good or a bad thing.)

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Monday, November 29th, 2010
1:19 pm - Wow. It's over!
Did I mention that I was trying out NaNoWriMo this year?

...Well, I did. And I won!

Ok, I'm not quite done; I have an epilogue to write, which should be done today. But now I have an epic work of randomness, complete with cupcakes, smurfs, koosh balls, piracy, a dragon, and a tea party, among other things.

If you are among those strange parties interested in reading a very random slap-dash work of over 50,000 words, please make yourself known so that I can send you a complete copy.

If you don't care, well, then feel free to disregard this entire post.

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Tuesday, November 16th, 2010
5:16 pm - Right. One of them meme thingies.
Summarily yoinked from a friend. Yadda yadda bold what you've read, yadda yadda supposedly average people only read 6 on the list which I think is a really low number because dude, school? yadda yadda you can do it too if you wanna.


1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (Of course!)

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (Again, of course.)

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (Yes, due to school. Forced reading counts, I suppose.

6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell (Another school thing. That makes two through school!)

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman (I think my nerd is beginning to show.

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott I love this book!

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (Nerdage, check!)

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (Three is the number of the school count, and the number of the school counting is three!)

19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams


26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky (If I read it on suggestion of an English teacher, does it count as school reading?)

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame  (I feel ashamed. I need to track this sucker down.)

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma - Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (Isn't this just, like, 33 again? Ok, ok, a subsection of it, but still...)

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne So totally yes.

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell (That is four! Four from school! Ah ah ah!)

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding (School, school, that makes 5 from school...)

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert (And the nerd count takes serious damage here...)

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth.

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley (Cannot recall if this was through school or not. Ah well.)

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck (Six! Six through school alone! Had I never done any other reading I would have been on the mark!)

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (Do I get extra points if I read the original French version in full, rather than the dumbed down version with pictures the rest of the class read?  Seven through school anyhow...)

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker (Oh yes indeed.)

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome  (Little semaphore people for the win!)

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt.

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte's Web - EB White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas (Again, French version. Woot!)

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (Eight through school!)

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (WTF why is this on here? It is not a great literary work, it's children's stuff. More childlike than Winnie The Pooh... Oh very well...)

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo (Original French, again instead of the stupid 'there is a guy named Jean Valjean. He was not a happy man. How sad.' version we were supposed to read. Eight for school!)


Which leaves me with a total of 30. I think I need to start reading more.

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Wednesday, August 4th, 2010
9:38 am - WTF, brain??
I'm pretty sure I had a trippy dream last night.

I can't remember much, unfortunately. I have a snippet of two friends (one male, one female) going up in an elevator to get to the female's apartment. I'm sure they had names, but they were forgotten.

The female was sort of a pink blob with little mini feet/tentacles/balls surrounding the base for locomotion purposes. The male was just a Generic Stick Figure. This was all done in a sort of pencil-crayon style, if that makes sense.

Anyway, they get to the apartment, having an argument about whether it's iced tea or iced pee. The stick figure has enough, puts on one of those short straw hats with a ribbon around it, grabs a cane, sticks his stick hands in the freezer for a couple of seconds, comes out with yellow cubes on the ends of his arm sticks....

...And goes into an old-timey song and dance routine about the joys of iced pee. The only lyrics I can recall at this point are 'Everybody else drinks it cold in Vegas/ Nobody wants to drink that sweaty pee!'

And then I woke up.

The two lines of the Sweaty Pee song are stuck in my head.

(I'm pretty darn sure I don't want to know the super special dream meaning about an iced pee song and dance number sketched out in glorious pencil crayon)

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Sunday, August 1st, 2010
1:18 pm
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l6g2qcu27I1qzpwi0o1_500.jpg

Huh.

Happy wedding day, Lisa.

(Anyone else feeling oddly old now?)

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Thursday, July 15th, 2010
1:05 pm - I'm melting... melting...
It's been above 30 here for, like, a week.

It doesn't show signs of stopping.

Our air conditioner is teh suck. It'll work fine for a while, but slowly lose the ability to really cool the air. But still, moving air is nice.

But! It's possibly going to thunderstorm today.

Since the air conditioner output is in the upper windows, and Stefan would rather I didn't go playing around where I could possibly fall to my DOOM, and thunderstorms here typically come with lotsa wind and such, its not hooked up today.

It's 30 outside, and 31 inside.

I am living off popsicles. It is not working as well as I had hoped.

Given that the human body is a high percentage of water, at what point do we start evaporating?

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Friday, July 2nd, 2010
9:55 am - A linguistically confused morning
Stefan has the morning alarm on the clock radio setting. This sometimes results in him waking up to random German language blah-blah-blah, and sometimes results in music. Sometimes the music is in German, sometimes in English, sometimes other languages.

This morning we woke up to an annoying blast-from-the-past. The dreaded Macarena. The English language version.

Why the English version? The station has had no previous qualms about playing various other things in their original language! My sleepy brain took about half the song (yeah, ok, we're slow risers) to figure out what was 'wrong' with the lyrics.

I got to follow that lovely bit of morning up with cranky German government people. Oh yeah. You'd think they'd be all TGIF (or German equivalent thereof), but instead they act like it's the Worst Monday Ever. All the time.

So glad to be home.

Macarena macarena macarena...

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Wednesday, June 16th, 2010
1:41 pm - Random events of today.
At my darling husband's request, I went out today and bought alcohol. This is a first for me, and it went well. Hurray for booze at the grocery store! You can hide it with other purchases!

What did I get? Just some cheap-ass cherry stuff which I can deal with. Instead of tasting like alcohol-alcohol-alcohol-alcohol-and-a-breath-of-something-that-at-one-point-might-have-been-cherries, this tastes like cherry flavoured alcohol to me. It has also met the Stefan seal of approval, which is why I got it.

Also, coming home from the store I wandered past a punk in a kilt. If this is the start of a new fashion trend, I'm all for it. Mmm. Man in kilt.

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Friday, May 14th, 2010
3:41 pm - Addendum to my trip post on the other blog
(Here's the stuff that, say, my dad's friends and my grandmother might not really care about, but are too amusing to not share with my friends)

The forest in Ljubljana, where it smelled of garlic? It must have been the magical garlic sexytime forest, because there were a LOT of used condoms on the ground. Seriously. I didn't know garlic was an aphrodisiac?

Imagine you're in your hotel, you're bored, and flipping through the tv channels hoping to come across something to entertain you enough so that you don't care that you don't understand it. You stumble across this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vg3XNB9U8w ...My brain exploded. How about you?

Also, the amazingly good coffee? Also amazingly good at, um, clearing you out. We learned to stay in the room for a while after breakfast and wait for the impending 'buttsplosion' instead of going directly out for the day.

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Thursday, March 11th, 2010
5:16 pm - OMG what is wrong with the world
First there was vaginal cosmetic surgery (you too should look like a porn star!).

Then there was vaginal tinting cream (because no matter what colour your ladybits are, it's wrong!).

Now there's vajazzling. Yes, it's pretty much as it sounds. Sticking shiny little crystals on your waxed cooch.

How is this a good idea?? Irritation comes to mind, as does various issues developing relating to how well your underwear cooperates with bling snag. And what about when the glue starts to unglue and your sparkles fall off? Is your shower drain in danger? Are you going to have cooch-glitter falling out of your pants at inopportune times? How does your jazzed-up-self hold up to, you know actual use?

My brain hurts.

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Thursday, March 4th, 2010
3:01 pm - Sean's Dream
Because he gave permission.

Copy-pasted from a messenger conversation. Well, more of a 'hey, you're offline, I'll leave you a message' sort of thing. Darn time zones.

Sean said :
So I had a very weird dream last night.
Sean said :
I drempt(sp) that we were at your house in Winnipeg, but it wasn't your house. You know what I mean. Anyway, It was you, Paige (played by a tall slender bitch with blonde hair) and some random guy who is my best friend?! And you invited my friend over to hang out, and I was one of your cats. I have the ability to change myself into a cat, but the best part is, I look like one of your cats. So
Sean said :
I hide one of your cats and turn into one so I can be at your house in secret.
I can still talk, but I don't do it because then I wouldn't be a cat now would I. It would also be too Sailor Moon esque if you had a talking cat.
Sean said :
So my best friend knew I was there in cat form, because we planned this in advance.
Sean said :
I told him I knew where you kept your "toys" and I was going to steel one for him to show people. Boy aren't we nice.
So, me being a cat, I went upstairs, and for some reason you came with. You were going to get something from your room and then Paige confronted you.
Sean said :
She told you to get the hell out of your room and that all your clothing belonged to her. I really don't know why, but she just did. Like I said she is a bitch!!
Sean said :
So you leave me and another cat in the room with her, and she decided to start snooping and I jump on her and attack her. oh yeah, by this time I was human form again. I was punching her in the face telling her what kind of a bitch she was.
Biting her, scratching her and all that shit.
Sean said :
Your bed was a war zone. I just kept hitting her until she didn't move. I don't think I killed her, but she was just so mean to you I didn't like it. Then I heard you rushing upstairs. So I quickly turned back into a cat and you entered your room to find "Paige" laying there all bloodied up.
And you also say cat me sitting there cleaning myself.
You don't know that I can become a cat so you never suspected it.
Then I woke up to my alarm
Sean said :
I hope you like how crazy my dream was.
You can copy this into lj if you want.
or share with paige.
ttyl


As I said, I had to share this. It's just too weird to just forget about.

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Friday, February 26th, 2010
2:16 pm - Marriage is neat, except when it's weird.
For supper yesterday, I had bought some fresh, delicious sesame seed bread.

Stefan slices it, gives it a test poke, and starts fondling it. 'Oh my gosh, I want to marry this bread, it's softer than your skin!'

...I give him 'the look'...

Then he gives me a cheeky grin. 'Can I cheat on you with it, then?'

Lolwut? No. Most certainly not. You are not allowed to go American Pie on the bread, it is too yummy and wonderful to defile like that. Stop lusting after the bread and pass over a slice.

(To be fair, it was VERY fresh and moist and soft and delicious. Can't blame him too terribly much.)

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Monday, December 7th, 2009
12:45 pm - Let's be friends dear!
More internet spam enjoyment!

My dear friend!

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw
blood in its defence.

((So love is pointy and ouchy and blood-drawing, and yet calm???))

My love, I am here for you http://love-wather.com/thelove/
I have never seen you before, but I am taken
by your eyes and your smile.

((If you haven't seen me, how do you know about my eyes and smile??))

I know that something about you will always
inspire me and make me happy because it is what love does.

((Yup, that's love's job description. Inspiring people first, making people happy second. That's what it does.))

I know that we
will have a lot in common and will be searching for similar things in life.

((Really? You can predict the future?? ...Lotto numbers plz?))

And I would like more than anything to get together with you,
so that we can share the most romantic moments of our lives together.

((We can venture off into that grand old search for the similar, and that will be oh so romantic you have no idea!!))


... I am having way too much fun with this.

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Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
3:07 pm - Oog. Argh. Brain pain.
Ok, I admit it. I sometimes read my spam mail just to see what kind of weird stuff they type to try to get your attention. Today, I got a doozie. (Well, this is only the first paragraph, but you'll get the idea):

*****

ATTENTION: BENEFICIARY

I have been waiting for you since to come down here and pick your Bank Draft but
did not heard from you since that time then I went and deposited the Draft with
Skye Bank Plc here in Nigeria, because I traveled to Japan to see my boss and
will
not come back till next month end.

*****

Wow. Just... wow. Waiting for me since when? I can pick my bank draft? (Can I have it in blue with rubber duckies on it?) ...Does this person breathe when they type??

My brain hurts, but I am amused all the same.

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Saturday, October 24th, 2009
4:44 pm - Feelin' Celestina Warbeck ish
You know, the offhandedly mentioned singer in Harry Potter who sings 'A Cauldron full of Hot Strong Love'?

I'm currently drinking a raspberry vanilla tea, called 'Heiße Liebe', or Hot Love.

So it's not a cauldron, but a teapot. Its full of Hot Love. And indeed, we have brewed it to be strong.

I am vaguely amused.

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Monday, August 17th, 2009
10:26 am - Random jottings.
Just a quick thought:

Stefan told me recently that if we become an old and happy couple, and I die before him, he's gonna kill himself because he can't imagine living without me.

The sweetest thought ever, and the dumbest thing imaginable. All at the same time.



In other news, I have some art supplies now. Paper and 3B pencils, a lack of erasers which I shall correct soon, and zomg a fountain pen. With a variety of refill colors. Maybe eventually I'll be able to draw something decent. ^^;;

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